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The Taboo Of Being A Female Nerd

My experience growing up as a female nerd (and no I'm not here for a boyfriend)

In this day and age being a girl who just so happens to play video games should be a norm that the nerd community should have gotten use to. Alas, That is still just a dream for us. Being seen having tits while holding a controller and knowing what we’re doing, is the equivalent of seeing Satan riding a unicorn; Something about it is wrong and magical but still wrong. 

Growing up in New York, where the Population of nerds is booming faster than the Nuke near Sanctuary Hills, isn’t what it’s cut out to be. Behind the friendly & lively exterior… It’s toxic. 

Women are the minority of the public nerd community; and no, not in an exotic way.

We want to be treated as competitive, friendly, intelligent equals. Yet, we cant go a week without someone man-splaining something we know or probably know more about. When we try to engage, we are shot down or belittled. When we win, we are cursed and harassed. When we complain/defend ourselves, we are just being women and its our fault for acting that way or showing that much skin (Read this article we posted before about public verbal abuse).

I’ve had many encounters with this disgusting community. 

Me, being a woman who enjoys wearing clothes that compliment my femininity, I get harassed constantly. Skirt above the knee at a Smash Bros. Tournament? Harassment! Tight pants that define the butt at a Tekken Tournament? Harrasment! Low-cut tight shirt at a Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament? Fantastic weapon for distractions but harassment! And God forbid, I decide to wear a crop top and show my midriff. 

According to the unofficial rule book of the Nerd Community, all slightly attractive or big breasted females must be sexually available to all men they are momentarily friendly to. Why? Friendliness counts as flirting of course. Which causes a lot of angry “nice-guys” to treat you like crap the moment you reject them.

The problem isn’t only the men. The women also have a complex about being the only one in a friend group that gets the attention. They must be the center of attention in a majority male group. This complex, called “Only Woman In The Room Syndrome“, which causes a great rift in a community where us females should be sticking together to fight this horrid situation. 

We women, who were bullied and belittled for having “A boys interests”, are strong, smart and courageous. We’ve heard “You can’t play this cause you’re a girl”, one too many times as a child. Most of us have been through or are going through that awkward phase of not feeling feminine enough. All because we’d rather sit in to play games, talk about strategies to defeat a boss or discuss the latest issue of a comic/manga.

We shouldn’t be fighting for attention… We should fight for our place in the community. We should be fighting for the fact that we as humans belong where we see fit and not where the sometimes mean spirited nature of this community sees us. 

We are not tits. We are not just pretty faces. We are not here because a significant other is here with us. We are here on our own accord and we have our own minds. We are not taboo. 

Regardless of our interests, We are woman of the Nerd Community. We all belong.

1 comment on “The Taboo Of Being A Female Nerd

  1. Pingback: Black Girl Gamers: Creating a Visible Space for Diversity in Gaming – NERDIER TIDES

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